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Showing posts with label personal development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal development. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

The Enneagram for Pastors

Interesting article from Christianity Today.  I have yet to take this test but a gal in our church is an Enneagram fan.  I recently bought a book on it and this article has motivated me to take the test!
My husband, Joe, is a pastor. In other words, he is teacher, public speaker, counselor, children’s story teller, youth leader, HR director, master of ceremonies, facilities coordinator, volunteer coordinator, mission trip coordinator, hospital chaplain, creative designer, office equipment technician, mediator, fundraiser, finance officer, funeral director, father, and grandfather.
Does he excel at every one of those tasks? How could anyone? He thrives in some parts of the ministry, and in other areas he merely gets by. For 2,000 years, men and women have tried to discern a call and find their way in the ministry, only to find a world of expectations that cannot be met.
Through his 40-plus years of pastoral ministry, Joe has found a number of tools to manage the range of expectations that come with ministry. None have been as helpful to him as the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a tool that helps us identify ourselves as belonging to one of nine personality types. Those types aren’t so much about what we do, as they are about our motivationfor doing the things we do.
The Enneagram explains the differences in those who have filled the pews in the churches we were appointed to serve. It has helped us become aware of how we all see the world differently, how we respond differently to what we see, and the specific steps we can take to become more like Christ.
Of course, like any self-assessment tool or personality test, there is a danger in making the Enneagram more than it is. It is simply one helpful tool as we journey toward understanding who we are, who God is, and who we are in relation to God. By itself, the Enneagram doesn’t have much to offer, but when combined with prayer, Bible study, and other spiritual practices, it can be extremely helpful.
Below are descriptions of the nine Enneagram types, as well as some advice for those who find themselves in those descriptions, applied to the pastoral role. You might be tempted to think of others who fit each description. That’s an understandable impulse, but the healthiest way to use the Enneagram is by focusing on self-awareness, not diagnosing others. Try to discern where you land and consider how growing in this kind of self-awareness might help you in your life and ministry.
If you have no idea which number you are, take this quick assessment.
https://www.gs.edu/be-the-difference/

One – The “Perfect” Pastor

You do your work with a commitment to giving the best you have to offer. You take your role as pastor seriously and have a perpetual to-do list. You probably notice error—in thought, word, and deed—that others don’t see, and you may feel a personal responsibility to correct it. You assume the first thing people see as they walk into your sanctuary are the burned-out light bulbs or the crooked table cloth.
You are personable, but your constant inner critic finds fault with everything you do. As a result, you may struggle to believe that you are good or worthy enough to lead your church or ministry. Your judging and comparing mind can make you feel like you fall short of what is required. As a result, others may seem better suited for ministry than you.
The path forward: Instead of seeking perfection in every area of ministry, work to allow a few things to be “good enough.” Perhaps your benediction doesn’t need a four-point alliteration, or perhaps your board would be fine with unstapled agendas at a meeting.

Two – The Generous Pastor

You know what your parishioners feel and need, and you’re anxious to be helpful. People in your church feel loved, accepted, and wanted by you; that’s probably because they are.
Being a pastor seems right—you want to be needed. You give and give, building relationships with almost everyone you encounter. That impulse can also be exhausting. Sometimes you return home feeling taken for granted or even feeling annoyed. There are times when you struggle with the business of ministry. Hospital visitation may feel more important than clarifying the interest rate of the endowment, but both are important for the church.
The path forward: It is a gift when pastors find some balance between thinking, feeling, and doing. Since you easily pick up the feelings of your parishioners and you know almost immediately how to best respond to those feelings, it would serve you well to ask some hard questions about your impulses: Why do I feel like I need to move toward this person and see what they might need from me? If I do offer my help, do I expect to get anything like appreciation, affection, or loyalty in return? Does this person really want or need my help? It might be good to think before feeling and doing.

Three – The High Performance Pastor

You are known for being enterprising, motivating your parishioners to help execute whatever plan you may have for your church. You are good at setting and achieving short and long-term goals and helping your congregation move forward. You focus on ministry metrics, quickly identifying inefficient or ineffective people and processes, sometimes to a fault. At times you focus too much on the goal and not enough on the spiritual and emotional health of your parishioners. Your determination to put a good face on things makes you a master at hiding anger, fear, sadness, disappointment, and embarrassment.
Would a merger be right for your congregation?
The path forward: Eugene Peterson calls the Christian life a long obedience in the same direction. Keep in mind that the quickest, more efficient route isn’t necessarily the best for the spiritual development of your congregation or yourself.

Four – The Empathetic Pastor

You have some gifts for ministry that are unparalleled. You can bear witness to pain without having to fix it, and your ideas are best expressed though stories and symbols and liturgy. You have a need to be authentic and unique, and you live with the idea that something is missing in your life—that you won’t be complete until you find it. You are comfortable with a melancholy mood that others often misidentify as depression.
The path forward: There are times in ministry when people in your parish need to experience you as light-hearted and fun loving. It may seem shallow, but make yourself available for “small talk” about football, fishing, or music. Your comfort with pain has the potential to limit your relationships. Most people benefit from times with their minister when conversations aren’t so weighty and they can forget that he or she is a pastor.

Five – The Well-Studied Pastor

You are well read and well informed—a wonderful source of knowledge for your parishioners. If you don’t know the answers to their questions, you’ll find the answers. You have a limited amount of energy for personal encounters, so you spend most of your day in your study and schedule your days to allow for study and sermon preparation.
You don’t love committees and probably think of them as the unwilling asked by the unable to do the unnecessary. Your tendency is likely to observe, but it is a great gift to the congregation when you really engage. Many people, if not most, thrive on participation. At times when you can walk beside them in the ordinary business of making decisions for the church, it’s good for everyone.
You can emotionally detach, which means you can have feelings and let them go. This can be both a strength and a weakness in ministry. Detaching from your own emotions can leave you with a clear enough head to lead a beautiful funeral service for a longtime member, but prolonged emotional detachment can lessen your empathy.
Why would a church of one denomination help to plant one of a different denomination?
The path forward: Thomas Merton’s writing is published in every known language on the globe. That’s probably because he was able to combine head and heart in his work. If you rely heavily on mental acuity, it would be good to add some expression of feelings to that.

Six – The Reliable Pastor

You are loyal, steadfast, and concerned about the common good. You are aware that we live in a world full of threat, and you have a lot of anxiety about possible future events. As a result, you appreciate structure and rules. Be mindful that too much structure can prevent creativity, and many “church rules” have not been reconsidered for years. You are respectful of the fear and anxiety we often find in churches, so you would be good at leading parishioners through an examination of how things have always been done and how that might need to change. You appreciate the need for group projects and committees. You like always to have a plan, and you try to use your gifts to provide safety for your parishioners.
The path forward: There is a time and place for concern about possible future events. When people are in that mindset, it’s good to be both present and patient with their concerns. At the same time, as the leader of the congregation it’s good when you can model the peace you have in believing that God is always faithful.

Seven – The Popular Pastor

You like the variety and spontaneity of ministry. You relate well to all ages, and you’re probably popular with most of the parishioners. If it doesn’t require too much preparation time, you really enjoy preaching and leading worship. You prefer to dwell in the happy half of life, so the emotional demands for dealing with tragedy, sadness, illness, and death requires extra effort. You can be creative and capable in dealing with conflict, yet struggle with problems that can’t be solved in a “reasonable” amount of time.
The path forward: Tender, holy moments are often found on the margins of life—both in great joy and in deep pain. Instead of immediately dismissing or reframing the painful parts of life, work to stay in those holy moments if even just for a minute or two longer.
What in the world is Dinner Church, and how could its concepts help your church?

Eight – The Visionary Pastor

You are a strong leader and an independent thinker. You are good at mobilizing your people to actively participate in protests, or evangelistic missions as the case may require. Your passion tends to be contagious, no matter the topic. Anger is your emotion of choice but it is almost always directed at injustice, and it never lasts long. It’s important for you to pay attention to the effect you have on other people.
The path forward: If you slow down enough to deal with your parishioner’s feelings, questions, and concerns, and make the effort to relate to them on an emotional level, your people will be as excited about your vision as you are.

Nine – The Peace-loving Pastor

You are a peacemaker. You always see at least two sides to everything, and you don’t take a strong stand unless it’s about something that involves integrity or morality. You sometimes set aside your own thoughts or desires while merging with other people’s plans or ideas.
You lead by consensus—something that is both a gift and a problem in church leadership. It is a gift when everyone in a congregation believes they have a voice. However, it is difficult to make time and provide room for people who spend a fraction of their week at the church to have a say in most of what occurs in the life of the church. You sometimes take too long to assert yourself as pastor and leader of the congregation.
The path forward: It is a gift that you are able to take in and often merge with the ideas of other people, but you are the leader, and your parishioners often need you to take a stand. So, when it’s time, make a decision. You can always change your mind later.
My hope is that we can use this knowledge and wisdom from the Enneagram to love one another better, understand one another better, and bridge the differences that separate us. For this is our desire: to grow more like the One we follow, Jesus the Christ.
Suzanne Stabile is the cofounder and co-director of Life in the Trinity Ministries at the Micah Center in Dallas, Texas. Her first book, The Road Back to You (coathored with Ian Morgan Cron), is an Enneagram primer while her second, The Path Between Us (out April 2018), uses Enneagram wisdom to build healthier relationships. Her weekly podcast, “The Enneagram Journey,” seeks to help listeners fully understand themselves and those they share life with.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Developing Leaders

Jesus on Leadership: “You will never be an effective leader until you include those you lead in what you do.”  Gene Wilkes, Jesus On Leadership, p. 221
Developing leaders requires that we spend time with people and they spend time with us.   This must include formal and informal times for teaching and training, but also living life together.  We must spend time with people!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

4 (REALLY EFFECTIVE) WAYS THAT LEADERS CAN KEEP FROM TAPPING OUT

Some good thoughts for leadership from Hugh Halter . . . 
I’m about a quarter century (crap) into entrepreneurial missional ventures. 10 years with Youth For Christ, 2 church plants, and I am again considering a brand new vision. As I consider another ‘new work’ I realize that God is recycling me through a very similar process, one that I believe He does with every leader He intends to keep using.
We know a good majority of leaders eventually punt, tap out, or take the looser limp and drag themselves off the field, but some make it. Some stay pliable. Some press in further and listen harder and actually get better.  Some come clean, and cloister up with like-minded and like-hearted comrades who are going to commit come hell or high water to let God use them in fresh ways. These are the leaders of 2015-2020.
Leaders need time with leaders to remain leaders. Conferences deliver 10% of this, your own staff retreats deliver another 10% but many leaders I’ve talked with desire a fraternity of brothers, outside their context that can help them get to the next level.
Here are four proven realities about whether or not you will be a leader 2, 5 or 10 years from now.

1. Leaders hit their most effective stride after 2-3 significant ministry seasons.

It doesn’t seem to matter if the first ministry seasons were successful or not. What matters is what God does in the life of a leader along the way. Clarity of calling is a constant widdleing down, and knowing who you are, where God is most powerful in you and where you suck and need to stop trying to be good are essential points of clarity you need for the next leg of the journey.

2. Leaders learn best when they are away from their context.

When you are home, the tyranny of the urgent always delays or dwarves fresh revelation from God. That’s why even getting away for 2-3 days can be the most powerful and practical use of a leaders time and money.

3. Leaders listen to God better when they are with other seasoned learners.

No matter the level of success, we are all insecure and unsure whether what we hear is from God or from the bad pizza we ate the night before. Being with others, who have no stake in your personal ministry, are often the safest people to help you discern true revelation.

4. Leaders need down time as much as they need God time.

Why do most tap out? One thing. Exhaustion! In my life, the moments where God actually broke through the haze was when I have been with some friends, laughing, enjoying great food and wine, and letting myself loosen the perennial grip of ministry.  I’ve now learned party is true sacrament and a gift God gives to keep us not only in the Spirit but in good spirits.
If you’re interested in a unique environment where these four realities come together join Caesar Kalinowski and myself at my ranch.
Missional Leadership at the next level… The things you’ll wish you had talked about 10 years from now–TODAY!
Hope to see you,
Hugh and Caesar
Check out the video here: bit.ly/13rmwHu
Full description and Register here: bit.ly/13rmu2t
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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

How to Set Yourself Up for a Productive Day

Practical article form Michael Hyatt.



How many times has this happened to you? You go to bed after a long, unproductive day with the intention that tomorrow is going to be different.
How to Set Yourself Up for a Productive Day
Then you wake up the next day and fall right back into the same old trap. It feels like you’re trapped inside your own private version of Groundhog Day.
Before you know it, it is time to eat lunch and you can’t point to one significant thing you’ve accomplished.
In my experience, the best way to ensure a productive day is to set myself up for one the night before. This gives me a chance to make sure I do the most important things first.
Even if my day gets hijacked—and sometimes it does—I’ve achieved my most important tasks. I structure everything around this.
Here are five strategies I use to set myself up for the most productive day possible:
  1. Protect my morning routine. I don’t take early morning appointments. Ever. I rarely take breakfast appointments. My hours from 4:45 to 8:00 are sacred. I don’t allow them to get interrupted by anything other than the occasional flight—which I loathe. Fortunately, they only happen once or twice a year.
  2. Create a to-do list with my top three must-dos. Before I wake up in the morning, I already know what my top three must-dos are for the day. These are the non-negotiables. I am committed to making them happen no matter what. I list them in Nozbe in priority order. (These are in addition to my routine habits.)How to Set Yourself Up for a Productive Day
  3. Set up your computer with only the first programs you will need loaded. This is so important. The reason I used to get sucked into e-mail, Twitter, or Facebook, is because I had those programs open when I woke up. Now I shut them down at the end of the day. I only have open those apps I need to see when I wake up. These are the ones I will use inmy morning ritual.
  4. Set your exercise clothes out. I’m no different than anyone else. With the exception of amazing spring or fall weather, I’d rather stay inside where it’s comfortable. But I need exercise—for numerous reasons. I am always more productive when I get it. For me, that begins by setting out my exercise clothes the night before. It’s how I make my intention real to my subconscious.
  5. Get to bed at a designated time. It’s a heck of a lot easier to get up on time if you go to bed on time. I rarely go to bed after 10:00 p.m. I start getting ready at 9:00 p.m. (Yes, I have an evening ritual, too, that I intend to write about in a future post.) I personally never have to use an alarm. I have conditioned my mind and body to wake up at 4:45. I am sometimes early but never late.
Do I ever fall short of this ideal? Absolutely. It happened just this morning. I got up extra early. By 7:00 a.m., I was running ahead of schedule. I had finished my morning ritual.
I then said to myself, I’m a little ahead of schedule. I can afford to check the news before I head to the office and start writing.
Bad mistake. I got sucked into the tractor pull of the Internet. Before I knew it, I had lost an hour. Not only was I not ahead of schedule, I was behind. Argh.
Oh well, I don’t beat myself up about it. In my view there is no failure, there is only learning. What I learned was that I must, must resist the temptation to get on the Internet before my must-dos are done.
Fortunately, I’ll have another chance to practice tomorrow. And I know that having a productive day tomorrow begins tonight. It’s all in the setup.
Question: What do you need to do this evening to set yourself up for a productive day tomorrow? You can leave a comment by clicking here.